Crossing Swords

After months of the kingdom depleting the jewel mines underground, the Mole People finally lash out at the surface-dwellers who have ruined their home. With the royal family in danger, Patrick must journey down into the darkness, where he encounters terror both real and existential; does he even want to be a knight anymore? When Patrick is double-crossed by allies, his world truly comes crashing down around him, and his life will never be the same.

Merriman and Tulip are back on the throne, just in time for the annual Hallowtide party. Patrick is tasked with chaperoning Princess Blossom, but his desire to hang out with the knights at the party leads him to abandon his duties. Meanwhile, Blossom plays a “Bloody Mary” game in a mirror, and swaps places with her deceased Aunt Donna, who runs amok at the party. Now Patrick must help Blossom escape the mirror by midnight, or she’ll be trapped there forever!

As punishment for his refusal to turn in King Merriman, Patrick finds himself sentenced to fight in the arena as a gladiator. Merriman starts to take a shine to his new life in the human resources department of a cobbler shop. But when he learns of Patrick’s fate, Merriman puts corporate life aside and attempts to reclaim his throne.

The kingdom adjusts to life under its new (old) king, the Old King, who is back on the throne thanks to Danielle’s machinations. Patrick is torn between loyalty to the kingdom and loyalty to his former king, Merriman. Meanwhile, Merriman tries life as a civilian and quickly finds a new career after a mushroom-fueled drug trip.

The circus returns to the kingdom, much to the king’s delight. Blarney is reunited with his uppity clown college classmates. Patrick, however, is concerned that Danielle’s circus origins make this an opportune time for her to strike again.

On an island training retreat, Patrick and the squires meet the most famous knight in the kingdom, but Patrick quickly decides the knight’s lessons are superficial crap. Elsewhere on the island, Merriman and Tulip attend couples counseling that quickly turns into a struggle for their very lives.

When Queen Tulip slips into a sex-toy-induced coma, King Merriman throws a beauty pageant to replace her. Patrick feels guilty because he recruited the sex toy’s inventor. While every eligible lady in town tries to win the king’s hand, Patrick desperately attempts to wake the queen before the kingdom is torn apart.

The wedding of the year brings Merriman a chance to mend fences with King Rami IV, whose son is arranged to marry Holden the squire. But when Ruben crashes the wedding in order to win Holden back, Patrick uncovers a malevolent undercurrent to the nuptials.

A drug epidemic at Blossom’s all-girls academy threatens to derail the king and queen’s scheme to draw attention to their newfound wealth. Patrick and Broth go undercover as female students to protect Blossom and bust the drug ring, but they find that the truth behind this mystery is even more shocking than they suspected.

Patrick finds himself on trial for betraying the kingdom, and only avoids punishment with a Hail Mary promise to the king: that he will find the legendary leprechaun gold. Patrick is thrilled when he enlists a real, honest-to-god knight to help him in his quest, until he realizes Sir Kutter is a wild card who plays by his own rules.

Patrick is thrilled to escort King Merriman to a charity golf retreat, only to arrive and
find out it’s actually the Chill Society, an annual bacchanal where rival kings meet to
divvy up power and party their faces off. Patrick is shocked at his look behind the
curtain, especially when he’s exposed to both a dark royal secret and a Chill Society
custom that threatens to kill one of his own family members.

As a string of high-profile assassinations rock the kingdom, the headstrong and petulant Princess Blossom returns home from school to attend a giant music festival. Patrick is stuck as her one-man security detail. Guarding the mischievous teenager gets even more difficult when the assassin strikes the festival, and Patrick realizes he’s truly in over his head.

When Patrick scores highly coveted tickets to a Kraken watching cruise for his parents, he sees an opportunity to impress his hard-to-please father. The gift blows up in his face when the cruise is hijacked by a radical protest group and his parents are taken hostage. Now Patrick must stop the hijacking at any cost, even if it means making a deal with the devil.

Patrick’s excitement to start his new squire job is quickly dampened when he is placed in charge of deciding who to execute as part of King Merriman’s publicity stunt. While Patrick struggles between pleasing the King and staying true to his anti-death penalty morals, Coral and Ruben campaign for the high profile role of executee…They don’t want to be executed, but it’s an honor to be recognized.

Young Patrick dreams of earning his knighthood and dispensing justice to evildoers. He’s driven by his goodhearted, earnest nature, but also by guilt: his own siblings are some of the land’s most notorious crooks. However, when Patrick finally lands a coveted squire position at the royal castle, his dream job quickly turns into a nightmare. In this kingdom, corruption starts at the top, and staying true to his lofty goals will be a thornier proposition than Patrick anticipated.